I feel like when i talk people don’t always listen. I feel like i need to tell someone my story. And even if nobody is listening, I think that’s okay because I just need to get it out. It starts out like this….
I was born on April 4th at approximately 7:36am. I wasn’t a beautiful child, actually I’m told i was quite ugly. My mom says i got cuter, how sweet. My mother wanted to name me Patricia, after my dads mother. Trisha, my dream name, is what they would have called me. But they did not, they instead named me Tiffany, normal, kind of boring, and slightly bitchy if you ask me. I don’t remember much of my childhood, but who does? My Father is an alcoholic, but when i was a newborn he stopped drinking because he almost killed me in a car accident. That day he promised to me that he would never drink again.
My mother suffered from a different addiction. she was a gambler, which might not sound like a big deal but by age 9 I wasn’t worried when my mommy wasn’t home to say goodnight. I was barely worried when she wasn’t home to say good morning.
There was a point early on in life when I was afraid of my father, but not because of the drinking. My father had serious temper problems, he’d get angry and through tables over because the newspaper was left out. He never touched me or my sister, but my brother was a different story. My brothers are not my fathers children. My dad didn’t seem to mind my eldest brother, but he just did not get along with my other brother. He never seriously beat him, but he was so mean all the time. He would drag my brother around by the ear,like a dog who peed on the floor, if the house was a mess. One time they got in an argument and my dad punched a whole though the wall aiming for my brother. He got better when he seeked council, and that angry stage in his life was over. Now don’t get me wrong my dad’s this evil monster, at least he wasn’t always one. For the majority of my life my dad was a nice guy.
In the Second grade i met a girl named Caitlyn, who turned out to be the best friend I’ve ever had. We’re still going strong and I think she’ll be a life long friend. Also in the second grade i got a new neighbor, his name is Jacob. He also became my best friend, we’re still friend but he has changed a lot since then, not quite for the better, but he’s still a good person at heart. Caitlyn introduced me to a girl named Haley. She had long red hair and was the best damn tether-ball player I had ever met, which was a bid deal in the fourth grade. She was the only girl in our grade who could beat me, and only one fifth grader could beat us. We bonded and the three of us made my second tri-trifecta. She too moved sometime that year.
In the fifth grade I had my first official boyfriend, Trenton. He was soon replaced by a very eager boy named Eric. Eric and I dated for two years. which was a lifetime then. He is the most substantial relationship I’ve ever had. He is the closest I’ve ever come to love, and to this day he has a part of me, and he will forever have a part of my heart.
My dad took a drink again when I was in the seventh grade I think. I remember being devastated, but I somehow got over it. I don’t know why, it makes me so angry. It’s what I hate the most about him. But he’s my father and I loved him so much i forgave him for braking that promise.
He cheated on my mother for the first time when I was in the eighth grade with a women named Jackie. It broke my mother, she lied in bed for weeks. She just stayed in bed all the time. Mostly crying silent sobs, sometimes though i could hear her through the walls. My father begged for forgiveness and my mother gave it, because all she does is give. And for a time we were a happy family again. it seemed like everything was going to be better, be normal. But then my father broke her again, so recently glued together, my mother was shattered. She went into a depression I thought she might not make it out of. My father ended up having 4 affairs, and is finally moved out of our house. he constantly dissapoints me, and i keep forgiving him….